Uncle Mac & Claude

Uncle Mac was an idol. His given name was Edgar but I don’t recall ever hearing anyone call him that - always Cam (middle name Cameron) or Mac (last name McClellan). He always called us boys by nicknames that he alone assigned and used. I was ‘Dukie”. Eric was “Clyde”. David was “Sport”. Maybe he just couldn’t keep our real names straight, but he never ever mixed up our nicknames. Although short, he was very strong and athletic. He could do one-handed pushups. He could do them with Eric or David sitting on his back. He could stand beside Nana’s house and drop kick a football over our roof – between the spruce trees across the parking lot – and into the rubbish cage behind the drug store. He was impressively skilled and physically brutal in a pickup pond hockey game. He coached the local Babe Ruth League baseball team and could hit balls over the center field treetops. Legend has it that he was invited to try out for the New York Yankees after high school. There was also that story about him making a small pond by peeing in the woods.

But above and beyond all of that, Uncle Mac had a rubbish truck. On occasion, he might stop by our house at the end of his pickup route and let us ride to the dump with him. Once there, we would climb into the back, stand on top of the rubbish, and hang on as the truck bed tipped up up up and the rubbish slid down down down out from under our feet. We clearly had the coolest uncle in the world.

He was so cool that for some God-only-knows-why reason, Mom let him give David a pig. Claude was a good pig I suppose, and David at 5 years old loved Claude. Because we had no pig pen on our ¼ acre lot, the playhouse in the back yard became Claude’s home. Except of course Claude was an escape artist pig. Numerous attempts to gate him into the playhouse had imperfect results. He would inevitably get loose and roam the neighborhood. Us kids would give chase, the neighbors (kids and adults) would attempt to help, even the local policeman pitched in – but to no avail. Either no one was quick and strong enough, or no one was brave enough to catch him. So Dad would come home, call out “Come here Claude”, pick him up and put him back in the pen. It didn’t take long to realize that Claude had to go. So Uncle Mac took David and Claude to a pig farm in Hanover, where David sadly sold his pet pig for $5. Sadder yet was the fact that a five dollar bill really didn’t seem like much money. Uncle Mac fixed that by bringing David to the bank and trading the five dollar bill for 500 pennies. David was much happier – 500 pennies was a whole lot of money for a 5 year old boy back in 1965. He would carry the coins around in a plastic bucket and scoop them up and watch them slip through his fingers back into the bucket. It seemed to ease the pain of losing his pet Claude!

(PS: nobody wanted to play in or clean out the playhouse after Claude, so it eventually was torn down)