In one year while in jr. high school (7th – 8th grade) my shoe size went from a size 7 to a size 10. This was the cause of lots of jokes aimed in my direction, as at that moment in time I officially had the largest feet in the house. The teasing was good natured and I didn’t particularly mind having something that I could lay claim to being #1 at. Then one night JR stopped by to visit and presented me with a gift he found at a yard sale – a pair of size 20 hightop sneakers. 
This produced a tremendous amount of amusement for everybody. I gratefully took them and placed my already sneakered foot inside of them and laced them up. Needless to say, they flopped loudly as I walked across the floor and they were quite cumbersome as I tried to shoot baskets on the court out back. Over the course of time I actually got lots of mileage (literally and figuratively) out of them. On the last day of school, people were allowed to dress crazy so I wore them to my classes. Classmates were certainly impressed, although with the harder core kids – not favorably. In high school there were occasional “dress crazy” days that I would get to wear them. On one of these days, the grumpy gym teacher looked at me and then assigned the whole class to run laps before going to our assigned activity. Those laps were torture, but once I got to the tennis court – I still managed to beat Gary Brine in three straight sets. Other members of the family also got use out of the absurd sneakers. Laurie was completing her Red Cross Life Saving training and one part of the test required her to “save” a drowning “victim”. One of the Williams brothers volunteered to be the victim, but just for fun laced on the size 20’s and jumped off the end of the dock. After a momentary appearance that he might actually walk on water, they filled up and he went down. Unable to come back up and do the stereotypical thrash and splash “help, I can’t swim” routine, Laurie had to leap in and ACTUALLY save him. Failing on her first attempt to bring him up for air, a second student jumped in and together they got him to the surface alive. They both passed and became lifeguards. Nobody ever made the mistake of trying to swim with huge basketball footwear again. The last time I remember seeing them, we played a Halloween fundraising concert at Camp Kiwanee and Marlene put them on at one point – trying to get some good old “foot stomping” music going. Various band members took turns clomping around in them throughout the evening. The crowd loved it, but apparently somebody that night loved it too much because as we packed up at the end of the night it was discovered that the beloved sneakers were stolen – never to be seen again.
This produced a tremendous amount of amusement for everybody. I gratefully took them and placed my already sneakered foot inside of them and laced them up. Needless to say, they flopped loudly as I walked across the floor and they were quite cumbersome as I tried to shoot baskets on the court out back. Over the course of time I actually got lots of mileage (literally and figuratively) out of them. On the last day of school, people were allowed to dress crazy so I wore them to my classes. Classmates were certainly impressed, although with the harder core kids – not favorably. In high school there were occasional “dress crazy” days that I would get to wear them. On one of these days, the grumpy gym teacher looked at me and then assigned the whole class to run laps before going to our assigned activity. Those laps were torture, but once I got to the tennis court – I still managed to beat Gary Brine in three straight sets. Other members of the family also got use out of the absurd sneakers. Laurie was completing her Red Cross Life Saving training and one part of the test required her to “save” a drowning “victim”. One of the Williams brothers volunteered to be the victim, but just for fun laced on the size 20’s and jumped off the end of the dock. After a momentary appearance that he might actually walk on water, they filled up and he went down. Unable to come back up and do the stereotypical thrash and splash “help, I can’t swim” routine, Laurie had to leap in and ACTUALLY save him. Failing on her first attempt to bring him up for air, a second student jumped in and together they got him to the surface alive. They both passed and became lifeguards. Nobody ever made the mistake of trying to swim with huge basketball footwear again. The last time I remember seeing them, we played a Halloween fundraising concert at Camp Kiwanee and Marlene put them on at one point – trying to get some good old “foot stomping” music going. Various band members took turns clomping around in them throughout the evening. The crowd loved it, but apparently somebody that night loved it too much because as we packed up at the end of the night it was discovered that the beloved sneakers were stolen – never to be seen again.
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